The importance of marriage: God created the human beings in pairs along with the other creatures in the universe to see them happy. And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. (30/21)
The cohabitation of opposed sexes is a natural process and the consequential marriage should be a self-evident result. And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. (30/21) Marriage will bring about cohabitation according to established and law and order, a home in which the couple will raise their children, and lawful coupling of the spouses. Thus the procreation will continue and new generations will rise. Be they poor or rich, the Qur'an's decree is the lawful wedding of the couple. Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among yourselves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: for Allah encompasseth all, and he knoweth all things. (24/32)
In Turkey, municipalities, under the supervision of the government, have been given the authority to wed the couple engaged to be married. The officer in charge controls, in the presence of witnesses of the parties, the papers, to see if there is any hindrance to their marriage. This official wedding is very important especially for the woman. And how could ye take it when ye have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a solemn covenant? In the course of the ceremony prayers may be recited. During the reign of the Ottoman Empire the authority to wed couples had been granted to judges who officially charged functionaries to execute the contract of marriage. Moreover, the imam of the district also could carry out this charge.
The Qur'an charges man responsibilities superior to the wife, warns the couple to keep their chastity. And if the parties decide to divorce, they should respect each other's rights in decorum.
WEDDING PREPARATIONS
Also (prohibited are) women already married, except those whom your right hands possess… (4/24)
As marriage is an important event in one's life, it is recommended that the parties know each other well prior to the matrimonial tie. Marriage through match-makers arranged in Turkey often result in failure.
The proposal for marriage is made by the future husband who presents gifts to her. The Qur'an warns the man against committing the offense of adultery. The same admonition is follows for the woman. … They should be chaste, not lustful, nor taking paramours: when they are taken in wedlock, if they fall into shame, their punishment is half that for free women… (4/25) The Qur'an categorically forbids extramarital relations.
MAIDENS SHOULD NOT BE FORCED TO MARRIAGE
… But force not your maids to prostitution when they desire chastity, in order that ye may make a gain in the goods of this life. But if anyone compels them, yet, after such compulsion, is Allah, Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful (to them), (24/33)
Girls of marriageable age should not be compelled to marry. To choose her husband among her suitors with whom she will share her life is her inalienable right. If she is deprived of that right there will be no peace at home and the children to be brought into the world will suffer consequently. Marrying the maiden girls to, for instance, elderly people for the sake of material gains is wrong and the sin of it will fall to parents. Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among yourselves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: for Allah encompasseth all, and he knoweth all things.
Seeking an unsoiled line of ancestors and an impeccable character are the main things to be sought in a suitor.
MARRIAGE MEANS MUTUAL LOVE AND AFFECTION
And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect. (30/21)
Marry those among you who are single, or the virtuous ones among yourselves, male or female: if they are in poverty, Allah will give them means out of His grace: for Allah encompasseth all, and he knoweth all things. (24/32)
Man and woman were created simultaneously so that they may complement each other and be happy. God Almighty has by mutual love and affection tied them tightly to each other. The sexual attraction between the couple is a boon that secures the perpetuation of the generation. The mystery of sex is not limited to human beings, but it covers the entire living beings. Coming together of man and woman automatically engenders love and affection.
Wedding is an act, process, or instance of joining or uniting in close association often of opposed or disparate elements; the binding ceremony is held in the presence of the functionary appointed for the purpose by municipalities. The formal wedding guarantees the future of the wife and of their common stock. And how could ye take it when ye have gone in unto each other, and they have taken from you a solemn covenant? (4/21)
DOWER
And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, Take it and enjoy it with right good cheer. (4/4)
… give them their dowers (at least) as prescribed; but if, after a dower is prescribed, agree mutually (to vary it), there is no blame on you, and Allah is All-knowing, All-wise. (4/24)
Dower is of two sorts, namely, in the first pace, the part of the wife's dower paid to her by her husband on consummation of marriage; and, in the second place, the part of the dower agreed to be paid to a wife if divorced or widowed. The amount is fixed according to the finances of the family and the accepted standards in the community.
We observe the reverse of this custom among the Jews, amongst whom the dower is given to the future husband as a decoy.
Gift is the act, right, or power of giving or bestowing; something that is voluntarily transferred by one person to another without compensation.
This custom is no longer followed in Turkey, except in certain regions of the eastern and central Anatolia.
Mut'a which is a form of Muslim usufruct marriage for a specified period which never existed in Turkey, was once prevalent in Iran and Arabia.
The Qur'an has conferred to woman all the human rights that man enjoys. She is not a chattel that one would be disposed to benefit of in return for a consideration, but the future mother to whom will be entrusted the future generation. Marriage has thus been seated upon a well founded ground of divine law and the concept of chastity.
Those that desired that the former institution of mut'a marriage be retained tried to alter the meaning of the verse (4/24). This cannot be canonized alleging that the Prophet himself had contracted such a marriage and that it was abolished by Umar the Caliph. Had God had such an intention He would surely have made it explicit in His Book.
APPROACH YOUR WIVES
… Permitted to you, on the night of the fasts, is the approach to your wives. They are your garments and ye are their garments… (2/187)
They ask thee concerning women's courses. Say: They are a hurt and a pollution: So keep away from women in their courses, and do not approach them until they are clean. But when they have purified themselves, ye may approach them in any manner, time, or place ordained for you by Allah. For Allah loves those who turn to Him constantly and He loves those who keep themselves pure and clean. Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will; but do some good act for your souls beforehand; and fear Allah. And know that ye are to meet Him (in the Hereafter), and give (these) good tidings to those who believe. (2/222-223)
Sexual union has two main functions: namely, satisfaction of a pleasure and procreation. Both are the gifts of God. And those who pray, "Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous." (25/74)
EFFORTS TO BE SPENT TO PERPETUATE MATRIMONIAL LIFE
… live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good. (4/19)
If ye fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; if they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation: For Allah hath full knowledge, and is acquainted with all things. (4/35)
The Qur'an wishes that there is peace between the couple. In this, to bring about friendly relations, is incumbent upon man. He must be tolerant and behave gently toward his wife. Patience and forbearance may give rise to a better state of understanding between them. Every incident is pregnant with unexpected results. … But it is possible that ye dislike a thing which is good for you, and that ye love a thing which is bad for you. But Allah knoweth, and ye know not. (2/216) If, despite every attempt matrimonial disputes continue, arbiters shall try to make up the discord between spouses. When such valiant efforts fail to bring about peace the parties may sue for divorce.
SUCKLING FOR A PERIOD OF TWO YEARS
The mothers shall give such to their offspring for two whole years, if the father desires to complete the term. But he shall bear the cost of their food and clothing on equitable terms. No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. No mother shall be treated unfairly on account of her child. Nor father on account of his child, an heir shall be chargeable in the same way. If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no blame on them. If ye decide on a foster-mother for your offspring, there is no blame on you, provided ye pay (the mother) what ye offered, on equitable terms. But fear Allah and know that Allah sees well what ye do. (2/233)
The Qur'an stresses the importance of mother's nursing her baby. It is a well established fact that the milk of the mother contains all the nourishing elements and vitamins which hardly exists in the baby food formulae in the market. The mother is to allow her child suck at her breast for two years. In case the mother, for one reason or other cannot do so, she will have to find a wet- nurse. However, if both parents agree, the mother may shorten the period of two years. The prohibition of marriage between foster brothers or sisters has to do with those who have been suckled for two years.
The nourishment of the baby by her or his mother is also important in the establishment of mutual love between the mother and the child. The child will furthermore feel secure in her mother's lap and his or her psychological makeup will greatly benefit.